Blessed treatments and divine care
Come to the medical ward in the Sanatorium if you wish to be given healing or first aid so that you can be back in ship shape to play and have fun! Make sure you acknowledge that you need healing, otherwise I will not know to provide such!
Have lice in your hair from some ratty patient? Come to me and we shall boil the unholy beasts out of your hair and cook them for good! Lice are soy disgusting and must be scorched away permanently!
Are you feeling delusional? Seeing spiders and worms the size of humans? Come to me and we shall zap those UNHOLY thoughts right out of your mind! We can’t have you all thinking that there are monsters loose now? Ha!
Having thoughts about eating people? Come to me once more and ask for a holy therapy session and we can talk it out, figure out how to relax yourself, and stop thinking like a baboon!
If you have infected cuts or scratches, come to the medical wing and I will treat you. We cannot have you in pain from infections. We must destroy these infections to make you better.
If you wish to have a major surgery, check the medical ward board. If I am on either the morning or afternoon, please let a nurse know so I can perform your surgery. Possible procedures:
Anything else does not count as a major surgery. And that’s all my dears! Muwa!